In this talk, I will tell you the story of how a bunch of sysadmins got sick of having to resuscitate their petabyte-sized Elasticsearch cluster and decided to replace it with some tried technologies: PostgreSQL, Kafka, a bit of Redis, lots of glue, and the typical sysadmin stubbornness. The result is Bagger: the sysadmin answer to Big Data. A fast, fairly reliable, fault-tolerant store, used mostly for logging timestamped events for some amount of time. Bagger is named the Bagger series of bucket-wheel excavators, feats of German engineering and some of the largest land vehicles ever produced by man. Just like the excavators that dig through tons of material, our Bagger digs through tons data.